


Never Let Me Go

by the_adequate_pretender



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Finn gets reconditioned, Finnrey, First Time, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-19
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-05-21 15:09:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6056163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_adequate_pretender/pseuds/the_adequate_pretender
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's up to Rey and Poe to return Finn to his normal self after he's been taken and reconditioned by the First Order.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so I've never written Star Wars before, but I love the series especially TFA and I feel as though I'm not seeing enough Finn/Rey, so I thought I'd write this short miniseries for the Finnrey fans out there. Please be gentle as this is my first Star Wars fic.

Five hundred and forty-seven days, twenty-three hours and fifty-two minutes.

That’s how long it had been since Finn was taken.

It was also how long it had been since Rey had smiled, laughed or felt that warm fluttering feeling in her stomach that only the boy she absolutely adored could give her. Since then, her smile had been replaced with tear stained cheeks, an uncomfortable lump in her throat had occupied the place where her laughter once emitted and that warm fluttering feeling had been pushed out by a heavy guilt that had seemed to take up permanent residence within her gut.

She should have never left.

That was the thought that was all consuming inside her head.

She should have never left Finn.

Someone else could have gone to find Luke Skywalker; it didn’t have to be her. Or at least she should have convinced the Jedi Master to come back to D’Qar sooner so that she could have continued her training there, where she could be with Finn. If she had stayed, she could have convinced Finn not to go on the recon mission with those pilots. And he would have never been ambushed by those TIE fighters. He would be right here, with her, safe and sound.

But she hadn’t done any of that. Finn was not safe and sound at the Resistance base. The only reason she knew he was alive was because she felt him…somehow…in the Force. He was probably shackled up in some sort of First Order prison. They were probably starving him, beating him, **_torturing_** him.

Rey let out an audible sob at that thought. Her eyes blinked open with unshed tears and she stared into the concerned eyes of Luke. She wiped her eyes in annoyance. She cried almost everyday. The only time she remembered crying so much during her early days on Jakku. She thought she had hardened herself since then, but she couldn’t control her emotions when it came to Finn.

‘I’m sorry.’ She mumbled and tore her eyes away from the man.

He nodded sympathetically.

Rey shut her eyes again and attempted to settle back into her meditation but found that lump in her throat growing more prominent.

‘Rey?’ Luke called out, softly.

She opened her eyes again.

‘I think we can stop for tonight.’ He said.

‘I can do it-,’

‘Rey,’ He insisted. ‘…that’s enough for tonight.’ His voice was gentle but firm.

Reluctantly, she nodded and headed for her quarters. Once the door slid shut behind her, she moved quietly over to her bed and settled on it, letting the tears that she once tried to keep in fall freely down her cheeks.

She remained there, letting all the emotions that threatened to drown her out of her body.

She hated this.

She felt so alone.

This was different from the loneliness she felt on Jakku. On Jakku, when she waited for years for the return of parents she barely remembered, she knew she could do nothing but wait. But it was almost comforting, knowing that all she had to do was survive because maybe her parents were on their way back to her.

But here, she knew she could do something to find Finn and bring him back, but she wasn’t **_allowed_** to. General Organa and Master Luke refused to let her go find Finn. Even after she had participated in a heated argument with them about how important his survival was to her. Their reasoning was that it was too dangerous for her to infiltrate First Order territory to find him, especially now that Kylo Ren knew of Rey’s connection to the force. Rey knew it was because they were secretly a little more worried about losing her than they were of losing him.

None the less, the General and Poe had executed nearly half a dozen rescue missions that had come up short. Rey was growing anxious by the day, dreading when the time would come where she could no longer feel him in the Force.

She wiped her puffy eyes and checked the clock. It was midnight.

Finn had now been missing for five hundred and forty-eight days.

Rey reached beneath her pillow and pulled out a small screw. She turned to the etchings she made on the wall, it was similar to the one she had made on Jakku for her parents, albeit much smaller. With a heavy sigh, she pressed the nail against the wall and prepared to make another mark.

‘Rey!’ Poe’s voice called to her from the other side of the door. Rey tucked the screw back under her pillow and stared at the door. The pilot sounded out of breath and Rey assumed he must’ve ran to see her. She slid off her bed and opened the door.

‘Poe,’ She took in the man’s appearance. His face was bruised and bloodied, and he was sweating, causing his hair to stick to his forehead. ‘…what’s going on?’

BB-8 rolled down the corridor excitedly beeping until he bumped into Poe’s leg. The tiny droid continued to beep as it looked up at Rey. Her eyes widened and then flickered to Poe’s eyes for confirmation.

‘You-,’

‘We found him.’

……………………………………………………………………………………………………..

 

Rey sprinted through the corridors of the resistance base with Poe and BB in trying to keep up. Finn was here. He was safe and where he belonged. That fluttering feeling had begun to tickle her stomach again, oh how she missed it.

‘Rey, wait!’ Poe shouted after her. Rey was hardly listening. She had to get to Finn. ‘Hey, I’m serious! Stop for a minute!’ Poe reached out and caught her arm, forcing the girl to halt. She turned and scowled at him.

‘Can’t this wait?’ Rey snapped.

Poe sighed. ‘No, it can’t. There’s something you need to no about Finn.’

The former scavenger’s heart sank, suddenly she was all ears. ‘What’s happened? Is he okay?’

‘He’s not…himself.’

Rey nodded. ‘Okay, but what does that mean? Does he-,’

‘He’s been reconditioned.’ Poe replied. He raised a finger and pointed to his face. ‘He did this to me, the moment I got close to him.’

BB-8 beeped angrily beside the pilot.

Poe turned to the droid. ‘Easy, buddy…he didn’t mean it.’

Rey stared at him, her mouth agape.

‘I’m only warning you to be careful. He isn’t the Finn that I know—that _we_ know.’ Poe stressed.

Rey blinked. ‘Where is he? I need to see him.’ She turned and continued down the corridor.

Poe and the tiny droid followed her. ‘He’s in an interrogation room.’

The three of them raced towards the interrogation rooms and found General Organa stepping outside of the door with Luke behind her, looking solemn.

‘Rey,’ She greeted. ‘I was just on my way to tell you that we have found Finn-,’

‘I know, General. Poe told me.’ She nodded. ‘I need to see him.’

Leia looked between Luke and Poe before turning back to Rey. ‘It’s late, perhaps in the morning we can-,’

‘General, please!’ Rey pleaded.

‘Rey, control yourself.’ Luke ordered. He then turned to his sister. ‘Leia, just let her see him for a moment.’

With a sigh, Leia turned and opened the door. The group poured inside and Luke shut the door behind them. Rey’s breath caught in her throat as she took in the sight of Finn. He looked a little thinner and was dressed only in the thermal gear from his Stormtrooper armour. He was sitting behind a table with his hands bound. His lip was bleeding and his eyes were hollow as they stared at the wall in front of him. She took a step towards him but Poe reached out and grabbed her wrist.

‘Rey…he’s been reconditioned, remember that.’ Poe reminded her.

‘Let go of me.’ She replied quietly.

Reluctantly, Poe dropped her wrist and Rey slowly walked forward until she was standing to the side of him.

‘Finn?’ She couldn’t help but smile when she said his name. It had been the first time in what felt like forever that she was able to say his name and him actually be there. ‘Finn, it’s me.’

Without looking from his place on the wall, he replied. ‘My name is FN-2187.’

She frowned and shook her head. ‘No, it’s Finn, remember?’

‘No.’ He replied, coldly.

Her jaw clenched. She looked at his bound hands and then to the General. ‘Why is he shackled?’

‘Because he is a danger to himself and those around him.’ Leia replied.

She then looked to one of the Resistance pilots in the corner. ‘Take them off of him, please.’

‘General?’ The other pilot turned to Leia for the order.

‘Rey, he’s dangerous.’ Luke answered for her.

‘You’ve got him shackled up like some sort of prisoner, no wonder he can’t remember who he is. Take his bindings off!’ She exclaimed. She turned to the other pilot. ‘You will remove his bindings.’ She commanded through the Force. The other pilot stepped forward and did exactly as he was told.

‘I will remove his bindings.’ The pilot repeated.  Leia moved to stop him but Luke halted her.

‘She needs to see it for herself.’ Luke spoke quietly. Once the bindings were removed she knelt beside Finn and took his hand in hers.

‘Your name is Finn, okay? You remember. I know you remember.’ Rey smiled and kissed the knuckles of his hand. She remembered how annoyed she was that he kept taking her hand during their escape from Jakku, the touch was foreign to her then, now she craved it.

He turned his head and looked down at her. ‘I am FN-2187.’

Rey felt her eyes well up with tears. ‘No, Finn. Please remember…you’re not one of them anymore. You never really were. You’re **_Finn_** …and I’m Rey,’

She saw Finn’s jaw clench and he turned so that he was facing her a little more.

‘Rey…’

She gave a watery smile. ‘Yes, I’m Rey.’

The corner of his mouth twitched and Rey thought she saw recognition in his eyes, but they went blank again and suddenly he lunged forward, causing Rey to topple over and smack her head against the hard floor. Within moments he was on top of her, hands wrapped around her throat with the intentions of squeezing the life out of her. Rey gasped and clawed at his hands.

‘Resistance scum!’ He growled.

‘Grab him!’ Luke shouted.

A moment later he was being pulled off of her by Poe and another pilot. When they finally managed to get his hands from around Rey’s throat, she collapsed back against the floor, clutching her throat and gasping for breath. She stared in shock as Finn almost over powered both Poe and the other pilot, he struggled in their arms as Poe pinned Finn face down against the table.

‘Finn, stop!’ Poe pleaded. ‘Please, buddy-,’

‘Don’t call me that!’ He growled back. Luke and Leia were at Rey’s side trying to help her but she ignored them, instead moving to Finn’s side as the pilot pulled his arms behind his back and placed him back in his bindings.

Her bruised throat was forgotten as her hand reach out to rest on Finn’s cheek. ‘Finn…’ She whispered.

‘I AM FN-2187!’ He screamed. Rey shook with the force of his voice but didn’t miss the tears that appeared in his eyes.

‘Lock him up for the night. We’ll deal with this in the morning.’ Leia ordered. The other pilot nodded and pulled Finn off the table escorting him out of the room. Luke and Leia followed until only Poe, BB-8 and Rey were left staring at the door.

‘Do you think…we’ve lost him for good?’ Poe asked, sorrow heavy in his voice. BB nudged Poe’s leg and beeped sadly.

Rey shook her head. ‘He’s in there somewhere. And we’re going to bring him back.'

…………………………………………………………………………………………………….

 

 


	2. 2

‘Rey?’ Luke’s voice startled her as she made her way down the corridor on her way to where they were keeping Finn. She jumped a little, having not heard his approach, and turned to face him.

Rey cleared her throat. ‘Yes, Master Luke?’

‘We are supposed to be training right now.’ He replied.

‘Yes, of course…I just had something I needed to do first.’ Rey said.

‘Where were you going?’ He asked, though he really didn’t need to. He knew she was going to see.

She swallowed but didn’t let her gaze falter. ‘I need to see Finn.’

‘Rey,’ Luke sighed. ‘Is this urgent?’

She frowned. ‘Yes.’

‘He’s only been back one night, surely you can wait-,’

Rey clenched her teeth. ‘Master Luke,’ she began. ‘I know all about waiting. I’ve done it for most of my life. I have the patience. But I need to see him. I need to know how he is.’

Luke remained quiet and lowered his gaze. ‘As your teacher, I am very wary of your attachment to this boy. I worry it might hinder your progression as Jedi. I worry that your feelings for him run so deep that you might lose focus.’ He admitted.

Her bottom lip trembled.

‘Perhaps you already have.’ Luke mumbled. ‘I will see you in the forest in one hour.’ He told her before turning back down the hall. Rey stared at his retreating form until he turned down a corridor and out of her sight. She then turned on her heel and jogged down the hall to the holding cells.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Through the glass of the viewing room that connected to Finn’s cell, Rey watched the boy as he lied on his cot facing away from her and the resistance guard in charge of watching him. She had been there for almost ten minutes and the boy had barely moved.

‘Is he sleeping?’ Rey asked. As if he had heard her, Finn turned to lie on his back. His eyes looked as exhausted as they had been the night before.

‘Nope.’ The guard replied. ‘Not a wink all night. He just lays on the bed, or he paces around the room…made me dizzy just watching him.’

Finn’s left hand came up to rest on his chest and Rey gasped at the sight of the bloody bandages wrapped around his knuckles.

‘What happened to his hand?’

‘He got angry and punched the wall a couple of times. We had the doc come in and patch him up, he put up a hell of a fight though. It took two of us to restrain him so she could get the bandages on.’ The guard answered. ‘I don’t know what the First Order does to those guys to make them so aggressive, and I don’t want to find out.’

‘Neither do I.’ Rey muttered darkly.

The door slide open and another guard came in holding a tray of food from the mess hall. There was nothing glamorous about the meal. There was a bowl of sad looking porridge and a cup of water. The door slid shut behind him and he nodded at the other guard and then to Rey.

‘I have his breakfast.’ He gestured to the tray in his hands.

‘Is that what we’re feeding him?’ Rey asked. The mess hall was capable of serving better food than that. Rey had seen it.

The guard holding the food gave Rey a sympathetic smile. ‘It’s General Organa’s orders. The porridge isn’t hot and the dishes are plastic so there’s no risk to the prisoner-,’

‘He’s not a prisoner and his name is Finn.’ Rey snapped.

‘Right, sorry.’ He apologized. ‘There’s no risk that **_Finn_** could hurt himself or others. The food isn’t that bad…it’s banana flavoured…sort of.’  

‘You can go on in and feed him now, hopefully he’s hungry enough that he won’t give you any problems.’ The other guard said and pressed the button that would open the door to the cell. The guard slipped in and placed the tray of food onto the floor beside Finn’s bed. Rey watched as the boy eyed him until he left the room. After a moment Finn sat up and swung his legs over the bed. He bent down and picked up the tray. He stared at it for a second before he whipped the tray against the glass window, causing the food to splatter everywhere. Rey jumped, as well as the two guards who then shook their heads.

Rey’s heart clenched. ‘Oh Finn…’ She whispered under her breath when she watched the boy return to his cot and lie down, facing the wall once again.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Rey sat by herself later that evening in the mess hall. She had just finished training with Luke who had given her another lecture about staying focused despite the chaos and hardship that was currently taking place in her life. She wasn’t eating, she managed a few sips of water and a bite of fruit that she had spent over a minute chewing. Soon, Poe had come into sit down with her. She glanced at his face, which was now stitched up but still very bruised.

‘So you saw him today?’ Poe asked as he took a bite of his food.

‘Yeah,’ Rey mumbled. ‘…this morning.’

The pilot nodded. ‘How was he?’ He asked and braced himself for bad news.

‘Not Finn.’ Rey chuckled humourlessly. ‘He hurt himself last night, punching the wall apparently. When I was there this morning he wouldn’t eat—and I know he was hungry, have you seen the weight he’s lost since he’s been gone. They starved him and now that he has food he still won’t eat.’ She sighed. ‘Also, he hasn’t slept since he’s been back.’

‘Damn…’ Poe muttered under his breath.

‘He doesn’t trust us. I mean obviously it’s mostly because of what the First Order did to him over the past year but…I wouldn’t trust us either if I were locked in a cell and treated like some kind of criminal.’ Rey added.

‘But what can we do, Rey? We can’t let him roam freely. He’ll try to escape. He’ll hurt us or himself.’ Poe replied.

‘I know.’ She grumbled. ‘I’m just saying that I don’t like it, I didn’t say I had a better idea.’

After a few moments of silence, Poe finished his food and pushed the tray away. ‘I want to go see him. You want to come with me?’

‘Yeah.’

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

‘Hey, you’re back.’ The guard greeted. He wasn’t alone in the room. The doctor was there as well, along with a couple of other guards. ‘You’re just in time, the doc here was just about to give him a check up.’

‘Yes I was, but I’m a bit concerned that he won’t be cooperative so I’ve decided it may be best to do this in the med wing. We may have to restrain him.’ The doctor said.

‘Plus is would give me a chance to clean up the mess he made earlier.’ The guard grumbled.

‘Can we come with you?’ Poe asked, giving a look to Rey.

‘Uh, well…sure, I suppose you could.’ The doctor nodded. The two guards entered the cell and placed Finn in bindings before they escorted him out of the room and towards the med wing with The doctor, Poe and Rey following close behind.

‘So I’m going to do a full body examination. I need to see where Finn is at medically, though I’ve noted that his sprained hand was a result of his own doing this morning.’ The doctor said. The guards sat Finn on an examination table and cuffed his ankles. Rey and Poe observed the doctor as she moved around Finn and took notes before she stood back and glanced at one of the guards to step forward and remove Finn’s shirt. As soon as the guard reached his hand out Finn jerked away and glared at him. The guard reached out again and Finn elbowed him in the face. The guard yelped and clutched his bleeding nose.

The doctor sighed. ‘Could you restrain him to the examination table please?’

Two guards wrestled Finn down so that he was lying on the table.

‘Be careful, you’re going to hurt him!’ Rey protested.

 Then they unbound his wrists and placed his arms in cushioned restraints. Finn struggled and growled at everyone in the room.

‘All right, let’s have a look.’ The doctor said. She came over so that she was standing over Finn and plucked a pair of scissors from the metal tray beside her. Rey slowly moved closer so that she was standing on the other side of Finn but wasn’t nearly as close as the doctor was. The doctor was just about to start cutting the hem of his shirt when Finn’s voice cut through the silence.

‘Don’t.’ The boy pleaded. His voice trembled. Rey looked up at his face and saw his jaw clenched painfully tight. Tears were filling his eyes.

‘Everything is going to be all right, Finn. I just have to have a look at you is all.’ The doctor assured him. She began cutting away the fabric and the moment she did, Finn shut his eyes. The doctor ripped the rest of the fabric away and exposed his chest.

‘Oh, dear.’ The doctor muttered as she stared at his chest.

‘No…’ Poe gasped from behind Rey. The girl looked down and instantly felt the air get knocked out of her lungs. His chest, which she was sure once used to be strong muscles coated in beautiful dark skin, was now scarred and battered. Finn had definitely lost weight, he had a soldier’s body no longer. Rey felt her throat grow heavy and her heart race in her chest as she watched the doctor examine the boy.

She called in a med droid and began reciting her findings to it as it scanned over Finn’s body. ‘Patient’s ribs have been broken some time in the last six months and have healed poorly, his clavicle shows evidence of a recent fracture. Scar tissue covers about thirty percent of patient’s upper body. These findings suggest a frequent torture regimen.’

Rey felt as though the room was spinning. She was finding it hard to breathe. It was one thing to suspect that they had tortured Finn, it was another thing all together to find out that her nightmare had come true. One moment she was staring into the teary eyes of Finn and then next her own eyes were rolling back into her head and she was collapsing to the ground.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………..

When she awakened the room was dark and there was only a beep of machines and a med droid whizzing by. She wasn’t hooked up to anything but she was placed in a med bed with a thin blanket. A shadow approached her bedside and she didn’t have to guess very hard that it was Master Luke.

‘You’re awake.’ He greeted her. ‘How are you feeling?’

‘Fine.’ Rey replied, her voice was scratchy and a little dry but she was fine. ‘Where’s Finn?’

Luke hesitated before he replied. ‘Behind that curtain.’ His shadow gestured to the curtain beside her which had apparently separated herself and Finn.  ‘Leia has given the doctor the go ahead to keep him in here from now on so that his body can be rehabilitated…to the best of Dr. Payapa’s ability.’

Rey stared at it for a moment before turning her attention back to Luke. ‘Did you see what those monsters did to him?’

‘Yes.’ He replied. ‘It’s horrible.’

‘H-how could they do something like that? How could they **_hurt_** him so badly?’ Rey asked gently. She was still in disbelief over what she had seen.

‘The Dark side is very dangerous, Rey. Those who allow it to take over their being don’t have the same sense of morality that you or I do.’ Luke answered.

Suddenly, a dark though crossed her mind. ‘Then why wouldn’t they just kill him?’

‘The boy means a lot to you, at this point I wouldn’t be surprised if the entire galaxy knows it. The First Order, they know how to get to you now. Before, you were a scavenger with nothing, but now you’re a threat. Now you’re a Jedi-in-training with a very serious emotional attachment to another person. That’s why I worry about you so much. What you feel for Finn is too strong, Rey. It could be getting out of control.’ Luke explained.

‘I can’t help what I feel for him. He’s the only person who ever cared for me, fought for me…he almost died for me and he’s the only person who’s ever come back. My own family couldn’t even do that.’ Rey argued.

Luke remained still and silent for a moment. ‘You’re in love with him.’ It was not a question but a statement. For some reason Rey felt the need to reply, but found she couldn’t.

She had always questioned what she felt for Finn. She knew she had uncontrollable emotions when it came to him but she wasn’t entirely sure what they meant. He was her family. She was sure of that, but the way she felt about Finn was far different than the way she had felt about Han Solo. For the short time she knew him, Rey had felt the presence of a father figure when she was around Han, he was someone who could guide her, teach her things maybe and she was willing to learn and not in the way she was obligated to as a padawan under Master Luke. Finn made her heart beat faster, her stomach flutter, he made her feel full with a warmth and unusual desire that threatened to burst from deep inside of her.

Luke released a heavy sigh. ‘Rey, do you realize that what you feel can lead you down a path to the Dark side?’

Rey didn’t respond but she could tell that Master Luke was looking at her with disappointment even though the darkness.

‘We need to talk about this, about what this means for your training-,’

‘Master Luke, I’m feeling rather tired and if I don’t get an adequate amount of sleep then I will be useless in training tomorrow.’ Rey replied.

It was Luke’s turn to say nothing as he huffed and retreated from the room. Once she was sure he was out of earshot, she swung her legs over the bed and tiptoed around the curtain. Finn was strapped to a med bed, tubes running into his veins from beeping machines. He was sitting up staring at his lap. Rey slowly made her way over to him and turned the small light beside his bed on. His eyes flickered towards her and he eyed her suspiciously. His chest was still exposed and Rey had to force herself not to stare at the damage done to it.

‘You should sleep.’ She suggested quietly.

‘I’m not tired.’ He muttered.

‘I know that you’re tired Finn, you haven’t slept since you’ve got here.’ Rey argued and came close enough to him that she was directly by his bedside.

‘FN-2187.’ He corrected. ‘You don’t know a thing about me.’ He added. She ignored his comment and let her eyes drop to the abused flesh.

‘What did they do to you?’ Rey whispered.

Finn shook his head. ‘I got what I deserved.’

She flinched at his words. ‘What you deserved?’

‘Yes.’

Rey balked at him. ‘You save multiple lives, risk your own, all in the name of doing the right thing and **_this_** ,’ she gestured to his chest. ‘…is what you think you deserve?’

‘I’m a traitor. I betrayed my family.’ Finn replied, unflinchingly.

‘You think the First Order are your family?’ Rey questioned.

Finn didn’t respond, he just stared into her eyes.

‘You think your family is supposed to hurt you like this? You think your “family” has the right to abuse you like this?’ Rey felt herself getting upset at his words. She ran her fingertips over his bare chest and felt goosebumps form on his skin. His breath hitched.

‘S-stop that.’ He ordered but his voice faltered.

She stared at him. ‘Why? Does this touch bother you? You would feel more at home if I broke your arm? If I battered, you?!’ She leaned closer so that her forehead was pressed to his and laid her palm flat against his chest, over his heart. ‘This is the touch of someone who truly cares about you.’ She swallowed. ‘And there will never be a day that goes by that you won’t know that. I don’t care what it takes, I’m bringing you back to me.’ Rey declared. Her lips pressed against his cheek, and then she pressed a kiss to his shaking lips.

Of course he reacted negatively, but there were a few seconds, when she felt the slightest bit of pressure from his lips, but then it was over far too quickly. He whipped his face to the side and snapped. ‘Get away from me!’

Rey was of course hurt as she turned and prepared to leave the room but instead chose to quietly sneak back into her med bed. It took everything in her not to return to his side when she heard his quiet sobs drift from the other side of the curtain.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“Excellent, Rey!’ Luke praised as they finished their last bit of training for the day. His padawan had been so involved in her training all morning and he hadn’t seen her so in tune with the Force since before Finn had disappeared.

‘Thank you, Master Luke.’ She replied as they walked back to the base together.

‘I’m very happy to see you taking your training seriously. You need to progress; you’ve been behind for a while.’ Luke commented.

‘Yes, I know. But I had a realization the other night.’ Rey said.

Luke raised an eyebrow. ‘Really? What was that?’

‘I realized I needed to train because if and when I ever come across Kylo Ren again, I need to be prepared.’ She admitted.

‘Rey…’ He was concerned about the implications of her statement. ‘Hatred, anger…those are all deeply rooted within the Dark side, you know that and to murder because of such emotions **_will_** have detrimental effects on you-,’

‘I’m not planning to murder him, Master Luke. But I would be a fool to think that the next time he and I meet that both of us will leave alive. I have to protect those I care about and I will do whatever it takes.’ She replied with finality in her voice.

‘Rey!’ They looked ahead and saw Dr. Payapa walking towards them.

‘Is this about Finn?’ She asked as she jogged ahead a little to meet the doctor half way.

‘Yes, actually.  I’m trying to get him to eat real foods in an attempt to bring his weight up, but we can’t allow him out of his restraints so we need to physically feed him and so I made a deal that if he ate without giving us much of a problem, I would allow his upper body restraints to be removed later this week. He agreed on one condition.’ She explained.

‘What’s that?’

‘You’re the only one allowed to complete this task.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any and all mistakes are mine, again it's like the wee hours of the morning for me right now, lol.   
> Also I've decided to make this fic 4 chapters instead of three. 
> 
> Thanks for all your support, any feedback is appreciated! :)


	3. 3

Rey walked determinedly towards the med wing, barely containing the smile on her face. Something she had said had gotten through to Finn, if only just a little. Dr. Payapa smiled at her as she rounded the curtain to Finn’s bedside.

‘Okay Finn-,’

‘FN-2187.’ He corrected.

Dr. Payapa frowned but continued. ‘Rey’s been made aware of the agreement we’ve have. If you give her any trouble, then the agreement is off, am I understood?’ The doctor asked. Finn flicked his eyes to Rey and then the doctor before casting them downward.

‘Yes.’ He replied.

‘Good.’ She nodded to him and then turned her attention to Rey. ‘His lunch is on it’s way. I’ll be back in half an hour to check on you.’

‘Okay, thank you.’ Rey smiled and waited for the doctor to brush past her before taking a seat on the stool next to Finn’s bed.

‘Did you sleep at all?’ Rey asked. Finn shrugged, his eyes remained glued to his lap.

‘A little.’

‘Good, I’m glad.’ She nodded and played with the loose threads of his quilt. ‘I’m almost able to sleep through the night now.’

After a moment and despite himself, Finn looked at her.

‘You don’t sleep?’ He asked.

‘Well, I’ve never been one to sleep a lot, especially growing up the way I did. But when you were taken, I could only sleep about two maybe three hours. I think that was because of exhaustion.’ She admitted. ‘But now that you’re here and safe again, I’ve been sleeping a little better.’

Finn stared at her, jaw clenched. ‘You know; I wouldn’t get too used to having me around. The First Order will come for me -,’

‘…and when they do, I’ll be waiting.’ Rey replied defiantly. She felt a rage bubbling deep within her gut over the fact that Finn had even entertained the idea that the First Order would ever take him away again. She forced it back into its cage and looked for a way to change the subject. Luckily, one of the nurses had appeared with Finn’s lunch. She placed it on a small cart and wheeled it over to them. Rey peered down at it with a grimace on her face.

‘What is that?’

‘Oh! It’s vegetables, meat, fruit…it’s just been pureed, is all. It’s nutrient rich and easy to consume. Dr. Payapa says the patient’s bloodwork shows no signs of food consummation in the past few days. He’s malnourished.’ The nurse replied.

Rey sighed before she nodded. ‘Thank you.’

She nodded and took her leave.

‘Let’s get this over with.’ Finn grumbled.

Rey dipped the spoon into the steaming green mush first and blew gently on it before presenting it to Finn. He opened his mouth and quickly accepted the food.

‘You haven’t been eating either?’ Rey asked as she repeated the action. Finn remained quiet and accepted another mouthful. ‘Sorry,’ She apologized. ‘I should let you eat, you’re probably starving.’

Finn had eaten in record time, despite trying to hide exactly how hungry he was. He finished drinking his milk and released the straw from between his lips. Rey pulled the empty cup away and placed it next to the tray on the cart.

He sighed and leaned back in his bed, a satisfied look on his face. She smiled.

‘Feel better?’ Rey asked.

‘…yes.’

She watched him with a smile until a burning question popped into her head. ‘So why me?’

‘What?’

‘Why did you choose me? You could have had anybody come and do this, but you requested me.’ Rey replied.

‘I’ve been told about how much you cared for the man I used to be. If I trusted anybody around this place, then it would be you.’ He answered.

‘You trust me?’

He shook his head. ‘That’s not what I said.’

Dr. Payapa came around the curtain again and smiled when she saw that Finn had eaten his food. ‘Now that you’ve finished eating, I’d like to run a few more tests.’

‘I should go.’ Rey nodded.

She smiled at the doctor and went to take her leave when Finn’s voice stopped her.

‘You’ll be back for dinner, right?’ Finn asked, looking a little embarrassed that he had asked that question.

‘Of course.’ She smiled.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Over the next few days, Rey had trained with Luke from sunrise until noon when she would go to feed Finn his lunch, and then return a few hours later to feed him his dinner. Each time she met with him, he would become a little less hostile toward her. Eventually, by the end of the week, Dr. Payapa had surmised that he was mentally stable enough not to hurt anybody, and so General Organa allowed his upper body restraints to be removed.

It seemed like things were moving in the right direction; Finn seemed to be trusting them again. He could feed himself now, but Rey still offered to eat her meals with him and he hadn’t protested. He had even started exercising with Poe in the yard, he had to be accompanied by a few other soldiers for security purposes but…he was making progress.

‘Well, I’m going to turn in.’ Poe stretched and collected the three dinner trays from the side table. The two of them had joined Finn for dinner that evening, they had finished a while ago and had spent a few hours just talking—well, **_they_** talked, Finn quietly ate away at his meal and occasionally grunted in approval. ‘I’m training a couple of new pilots tomorrow morning, so I should get some sleep.’ Poe smiled softly at the two of them, Rey returned it and Finn nodded in his direction. He muttered a quick goodnight and left. The former scavenger watched him go and remained quiet for a moment, debating on whether or not she should proceed with asking the question she wanted to ask.

‘Do you want to take a walk with me?’ Rey blurted out. She had no what his response would be, he had been kinder towards her for the past few days but that didn’t mean he was back to his regular self. But Rey couldn’t help it, she hadn’t spent time with Finn outside of the med wing since he had been admitted.

He looked at her and she could see the conflicting emotions in his eyes.

‘Shouldn’t you get going too? It’s late.’ Finn replied.

Rey shrugged. ‘Well, I need some air before I go to bed.’ She said, standing up. ‘I’d like it if you came as well but if you’re too tired—,’

He shook his head hesitantly. ‘I’m uh…I’m not tired.’

‘So you’ll come?’ She smiled.

‘Yeah.’ He nodded and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

They walked around the base for well over an hour, and had ended up in the woods, close to where Luke and Rey would train. Light peeked through the trees from one of D’Qar’s moons.

‘Would you mind if we sat for a while?’ Rey asked as they reached the clearing that she and Master Luke often used for meditation in the mornings. Finn nodded and they took a seat in the cool grass. ‘It’s—,’ Rey turned to Finn and was just about to comment on how peaceful it was when she saw the boy’s mouth quickly shut, indicating that he had something to say but thought better of it.

 ‘Were you going to say something?’ She questioned. Rey wanted very much to know what he had on his mind, it was very rare these days for Finn to be the first to start a conversation. Finn cast his gaze downward. Rey moved closer to him once she figured he would be okay with it. ‘It’s okay, you can tell me. I want to know.’

Finn sighed and his eyes slid shut. ‘I don’t understand.’

She frowned. ‘What do you mean? What don’t you understand?’

He shook his head and opened his eyes to look at her. ‘You.’

‘Me?’

‘Who was I to you…before? I mean before I was supposedly “kidnapped” by the First Order? Of what importance was I to you—to your people, who **_should_** have shot me on sight like they did my squad—that you feel obligated to take care of me?’ He questioned.

Rey chewed away on her bottom lip while she tried to gather her thoughts. She had to reply in a way that wouldn’t overwhelm him. ‘To General Organa and the rest of the Resistance you were a hero and an valuable asset in the fight against the First Order. To me…you were…many things.’

Finn gave her a look, obviously unsatisfied with her answer, so she continued. ‘You were the first person I’d ever trusted, you were also the first person who ever seemed to care about me. As much as you were my friend, you were more than that. So much more. And when you came back for me when I was taken prisoner on the Starkiller base, that’s when I knew I would never be alone as long as you were alive. You were my family. You are my family.’ She finished with tears blurring her vision, she blinked and felt a few stray tears cascading down her face.

Finn watched her and swallowed the lump in his throat. His hand reached out hesitantly and touched her cheek, letting his thumb wipe away the trail of tears. ‘These people in the resistance…they’re your family now.’

Rey shook her head. ‘I fight along side them and I care about them, I do, but…it’s different with you, I feel something else entirely.’ She admitted.

His thumb traced the corner of her mouth and with that gesture, Rey couldn’t help but notice how close they actually were.

‘You feel something else?’ He mumbled.

‘Yes,’

‘What is it?’

‘I don’t know,’ she lied, the words she wanted to say were stuck in her throat. ‘…all I know is that it’s strong, very strong, and it makes me feel happy and terrified at the same time.’

As soon as the words left her mouth, Finn’s lips were hovering above hers. In one moment she could feel his trembling breaths and the next moment his lips were on hers. He was gentle at first, barely applying pressure, obviously he was unsure if he should even be doing what he was doing. But, Rey had quickly begun to kiss him back once she got over the obvious shock of what he initiated, and that’s when she felt him give in—not completely—but he was taking a lead now as he kissed her slow and passionate. And the fluttering, warm feeling in Rey’s stomach doubled.

She reached her hand up, intending just to touch his face because she just needed to feel him in that moment, but suddenly she was being pushed away and Finn’s lips were no longer on hers. She opened her eyes and went to look at the boy but he was already on his feet and heading back the way they came. Rey quickly chased after him.

‘Finn! Finn, wait!’ She shouted but he continued to walk, ignoring her. She ran ahead of him and cut him off, placing her hands on his chest. ‘Stop!’

‘Move.’ He muttered.

‘What’s wrong?’ Rey took her hands off of his chest but did not move from where she stood.

‘That was a mistake.’

‘A mistake?’ Her heart sank low into her gut.

‘Yes,’ he replied and moved closer to her. ‘I don’t know what happened back there but it will not happen again. The man that I apparently used to be, I will not be again. I’m not your friend or your family and I’m not Finn. I’m FN-2187. And I think that the sooner you accept that, the better off you’ll be.’ He walked passed her, gently nudging her shoulder as he went.

His words cut her, but the thing that kept Rey from breaking down into tears was the realization of the uncertainty and fear that dripped from his voice. He had attempted to distance himself from her and Rey took that as a sign that she was breaking through some sort of emotional wall that his reconditioning had built.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

‘I’m sorry, Rey.’ Dr. Payapa sighed as she stopped the girl from entering the med wing. ‘Finn has asked to be left alone today.’

Rey frowned. ‘Okay, well tell him I was by and if he needs anything…’

‘Yes, of course.’ Dr. Payapa gave her a sad smile before the door slid shut in Rey’s face. The girl glared at the door for a moment before turning down the corridor.

‘Rey!’ Poe called out to her. She stopped and turned to the pilot. ‘Have you been in to see Finn today?’

‘No, he’s not allowing anybody besides the doctor to see him today.’ She replied.

Poe ran a hand through his hair. ‘I thought we were making progress. I wonder what happened.’

‘He kissed me.’ Rey admitted. Poe’s eyebrows shot up.

‘He kissed you?’

Rey nodded. ‘Last night.’

‘Well, that’s good sign right?’

‘Yeah, but then he got upset and stormed away from me. I don’t know, I think he’s realizing how much he’s begun to trust us and maybe some part of him believes that he can live this kind of life.’ She replied.

Poe shrugged. ‘Two steps forward and one step back, I guess.’ He smiled. ‘I knew this whole thing was getting a bit too easy.’

‘No matter how hard it gets, I’m not giving up on him; even if I’m the only one who won’t-,’

Poe shook his head. ‘I’ll be right there with you, Rey. Every step.’

‘Thank you.’

‘So, I guess if Finn doesn’t want to see anybody today, I’ll probably go tinker around with the x-wings. You want to join me?’ He asked.

Rey looked longingly in the direction of the med wing before she realized that the doc would not be coming out any time soon to tell her that Finn had changed his mind. She smiled. ‘Sure.’

……………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Rey had not seen Finn in three days and it was eating away at her. If the circumstances weren’t what they were, she would have no problems giving the boy space to breathe, but since he was actively trying to avoid any contact with her or Poe, Rey was becoming anxious.

She attempted to keep her mind off of the situation by using the time that she didn’t have to dedicate to her training to fixing up the _Falcon_.

That night, she had been working away on it for hours until her eyes began to burn from exhaustion. Finally, she packed up her things and headed back into the base. Once she was inside, she turned down the corridor that lead to her quarters. It was silent, largely due to the fact that everyone was asleep—at least, they should have been. In the silent corridor she heard hurried footsteps heading toward her. Instinctively, she reached for the sabre hooked to her hip and stood staring in the direction in which the footsteps were coming. Suddenly from around the corner, Finn came running, blaster in his hands, but halted immediately when he saw Rey. He was breathing heavily.

‘Finn, what are you doing?’ She asked.

He clenched his jaw and looked at her, pain evident in his eyes ‘I’m leaving.’

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for waiting! This is the second to last chapter, I hope you all enjoy it. I'm going to try my hardest to get the last chapter out in a week, a lot happens in that chapter so I will do my best to make a timely update.


	4. 4

‘Let’s just talk, okay?’ Rey offered as she took a few tentative steps toward Finn.

He shook his head. ‘There’s nothing to talk about. Get out of my way.’

Rey didn’t move any closer but remained in his path.

‘Move!’ Finn repeated, his jaw tightly clenched as the blaster in his hands shook.

‘I’m not moving.’ Rey replied defiantly. ‘Talk to me, Finn. Please? You were making so much progress, what happened-,’

Voices heard from down the corridor stopped Rey mid sentence. She looked at Finn, whose eyes widened as he looked to the direction of the noises. The former scavenger saw this as an opportunity to take control of the situation.

‘Follow me.’ She whispered. Finn turned to her and glared. ‘If they catch you like this, you’ll never get to wherever it is you need to go. They’ll lock you up again. Just follow me!’ She grabbed his arm and led him to her quarters.

‘Where are you going?’ Rey asked, once they were inside. She leaned against the door and crossed her arms over her chest.  Finn looked around the room for a moment and his eyes landed on the tally marks Rey had scratched into her wall before he slowly turned back to her.

‘Back to the First Order.’ He replied.

‘Why?’

‘Because it’s where I’m supposed to be!’ He spat and aimed the blaster at her once more.

She stared at him, glancing down the blaster’s barrel before meeting his eyes again.

‘Now, move or…’ His voice broke.

‘Or what?’ Rey asked quietly.

‘…or I’ll kill you.’

Rey said nothing, she only continued to stand in front of the door, blocking Finn’s only exit.

‘I said—,’

‘I know what you said.’ Rey nodded gently. A lump settled in her throat.

‘Then what are you doing?’

Rey paused, searching for the right words to say as Finn looked at her expectantly. She swallowed the lump in her throat once more, steadying her voice. ‘You really want to go back to the First Order?’

‘…y-yes.’ Finn replied, though his voice was dripping with uncertainty.

‘Well, go on then…kill me.’

Finn’s mouth hung slightly agape and his blaster dropped to his side.

‘It’s the only way you’re getting off this planet and back to the First Order.’ She said.

After a moment, Finn replied quietly, his voice just above a whisper. ‘Why are you doing this? Why can’t you just let me go?’

‘As long as I’m breathing, I’m never going to let you go.’

She slowly walked closer to him, her eyes glued to his and looked at him unflinchingly. He glanced down to the lightsaber on her hip and she was sure he thought she might use it to make him stay. Without taking her eyes off on him, she reached to unclip the lightsaber and tossed it away, it rolled somewhere beneath her bed. ‘So if you want to leave…then do it. Kill me. I won’t fight you, I’ll never hurt you and deep down you know that.’

‘You’re going to throw away everything you have just to-,’

She chuckled humourlessly and wiped a few stray tears. ‘Don’t you get it?! Being with the resistance, fighting for the galaxy…it means nothing to me unless you’re by my side!’ She exclaimed. ‘I **_love_** you, Finn.’

Her eyes slid shut to prevent more tears from falling. Suddenly she heard something clatter against the floor. She opened her eyes to find that Finn had let his blaster drop out of his hands. She looked at him but his gaze was cast downward.

‘What did you say?’ He asked.

‘I love you.’ She repeated without missing a beat. It felt good to say it out loud, to admit it to both Finn and herself. Despite the situation they were currently in, Rey felt a little lighter, like she had been carrying a weight on her back and now it had been lifted off of her.

He charged at her and before she could blink, her back smacked against the wall as he pinned her against it, the fabric of her tunic bunched tightly in his fists as he glared at her, his warm breath tickling her face as his breathing became ragged. ‘That’s enough.’ He growled.

He might have looked threatening to somebody else; but not her. She leaned up and pressed her lips to his and she was able to linger there for a moment before he quickly released her.

He stumbled back a little and took a seat on Rey’s bed, making sure not to look at her the entire time. Rey wasn’t sure what to do, so she stayed in her place and watched Finn have an internal battle with himself.

‘I’ve been having…I don’t know…um…’ He stammered.

‘It’s okay, Finn. Just tell me.’ She urged.

‘…dreams or hallucinations or whatever they are…I’ve been having them.’

Rey’s forehead creased in confusion. ‘About what?’

For the first time in a few minutes, he looked at her. ‘About the person I used to be…and everything that’s happened over the past year and a half…about **_you_**.’ He sighed. ‘And I have these feelings. Feelings I shouldn’t have because they’re not right. The other day when I… k-kissed you…I acted on those feelings instead of supressing them like I should have—like I’ve been trained to do.’

 ‘You’re not with them anymore.’ Rey said and came to stand in front of him. ‘You’re free. You can do whatever you want to.’  Her hand reached out to caress his face. Fingers slipped under his chin and tilted his head upwards until he was looking at her. ‘What do you want?’ She whispered.

He didn’t reply, not verbally at least, and Rey was both surprised and delighted when he decided to answer the question by standing up and kissing her. Her hands cupped his face and hesitantly his arms slipped around her frame and pulled her tight to his body.

‘I don’t want to go back.’ Finn told her when he pulled his lips away for a moment. ‘I don’t want to go back to the First Order but I have to.’

‘You don’t have to-,’ Rey tried to say but Finn cut her off with his lips once again—not that Rey was complaining, she allowed him to deepen the kiss by granting his tongue access to her mouth. She sucked on his bottom lip and a gentle moan bubbled out of him.

She pulled back for air after a few minutes. ‘You don’t have to go back. You’re going to stay right here.’ Rey’s voice was filled with determination and she kissed Finn again, wanting him to know just how serious she was. She wouldn’t let him go back there; to the First Order. Even if none of what Rey or Poe was doing to bring him back was working, she wouldn’t ever stop trying to make him Finn again. But, judging by the way his lips were now moving down her neck—leaving wet kisses in their wake—their efforts wouldn’t be in vain because Finn was well on his way back to them…to **_her_**.

A loud banging at the door had them both snapping to attention. ‘Rey!’ The voice of Luke came from the other side.

Rey placed a gentle hand on Finn’s chest. ‘Just wait here, okay? Everything will be alright.’

Finn glanced at her, and gave her a small, uncertain nod before he slowly lowered himself into a sitting position on her bed.

‘Rey!’ Luke’s voice came again.

‘One moment!’ Rey shouted. She spared one look at Finn before she moved to answer the door. ‘Yes?’ Rey greeted once the door slid open. Luke stood on the other side with a frustrated looking, Leia.

 ‘Finn’s missing from the med bay-,’ Leia began.

‘No he’s not.’ Luke cut her off as he peered past Rey’s shoulder at the boy sitting quietly on her bed. Leia frowned and followed Luke’s gaze.

‘Well,’ Leia sighed. ‘…that’s a relief. We were about to send a search party out for him, but I should have known this is where he might be.’

‘Sorry General, Finn couldn’t sleep so he just came to my room to talk.’ Rey lied.

She shifted under Luke’s piercing gaze. He obviously knew that there was more to the story than what Rey was letting on, but Leia seemed to accept her explanation—whether it was because she believed the girl or was too tired to argue, Rey didn’t know.

‘Alright,’ The General nodded. ‘…but it’s late, maybe it’s best he returned to the med bay now?’

Rey glanced back at Finn. ‘Actually, General, I think it would be best if Finn stayed with me tonight.’

Both Luke and Leia gave her a look.

‘Just for tonight?’ Rey tried.

Leia was the first to give, after a moment she reluctantly replied, ‘…just for tonight.’

‘You think that’s wise?’ Luke challenged. The question was directed toward both his sister and his padawan.

‘Yes.’ Rey answered.

‘He can only stay for tonight, Luke. He hasn’t been medically cleared yet.’ Leia answered before turning to Rey. ‘Dr. Payapa will request him back in the med bay first thing in the morning to resume his treatment.’

‘I understand, General.’ Rey nodded and gave her a small smile.

Luke watched the exchange and let out a frustrated sigh. ‘…and I will expect that this _sleepover_ will not interfere with our morning session tomorrow?’

‘Of course not, Master Luke.’ She assured him.

Reluctantly, he nodded and disappeared down the corridor. Leia watched him and gave a final nod to Rey and Finn. ‘Goodnight then.’

‘Goodnight, General.’

She allowed the door to slide shut before moving to crawl up behind Finn on her bed. She placed a gentle hand on his back. ‘They’re only going to let you stay in here if you behave. Lie down.’

He glanced at her over his shoulder before slowly lying on his back beside her. Rey laid her head on his chest and draped herself over his body. Finn tensed. ‘What are you doing?’

She didn’t answer. Her eyes began to flutter shut as she listened to Finn’s heartbeat slow to a relaxing pace. He shifted and Rey worried that he was going to push her off of him, but instead he reached his arm around her to pull her close.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

‘Do you want me to walk with you?’ She asked as they exited her room the next morning.

‘Aren’t you supposed to be training with Skywalker?’ He replied.

‘Well, yes but…’ She cleared her throat. ‘I want to make sure you get back to the infirmary.’

Finn sighed. ‘I’m not going to run.’

‘You’re not?’

‘No,’ He admitted. ‘I don’t entirely trust you—any of you actually, but…I think I want to try.’

She smiled.

‘I’ll come by after I’m finished training for the day.’ Rey promised.  

Finn nodded. ‘See you later.’

She waited until he turned down the corridor towards the med bay before she headed in the opposite direction to begin her morning training session.

………………………………………………………………………………………………….

He was released from the med bay almost a week later after Dr. Payapa and the group of med droids deem him medically stable enough to do so. He was still underweight but slowly making progress, having gained ten pounds during the time he was admitted, and no longer had to have his food pureed. That evening, Rey spotted him in the mess hall for the first time since he had been brought back. He was sitting with Poe at a table with a few other pilots. Poe had said something and laughed and Rey saw Finn crack a small smile in return.

‘Hey,’ she greeted them as she took a seat beside Finn. ‘How does it feel to be eating whole foods again?’ Rey grinned and motioned to his tray.

‘I had no idea how much I’d missed it.’ He let out a content sigh. ‘It feels good finally being out of the med bay.’

‘So have they assigned you a room yet?’ Rey asked.

‘Uh, yeah…they did but I told them I wanted to talk to you first.’ He said.

Rey gave him a look. ‘Talk to me about what?’

He nervously scratched the back of his neck. ‘Do you think I could stay in your quarters for a while?’

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise and she glanced at Poe who had an amused look on his face. ‘Of course you can.’

The maintenance crew put an extra cot in Rey’s quarters that evening. It turned out to be a bit of a waste of time though. ‘What’s the matter?’ She asked as she sat up in her own bed. She noticed that Finn was just sitting on his cot with seemingly no intentions of getting in it.

He looked at her. There was a silent exchange before Rey slid back towards the wall of her bed and pulled her blankets back. She gestured for Finn to get in. ‘Come on.’ She said. And no sooner after the words had left her mouth was he on his way over and sliding beneath her blankets. His arms wrapped around her body and she buried her face in his chest.

They laid silently, Rey was well on her way to sleep because she was exhausted. Luke had been working her extra hard as of late. She was sure he was compensating for the time she had been spending with Finn and was trying to keep her focused.

‘Rey?’

‘Yes?’ She mumbled, eyes remaining shut.

‘What do those marks mean?’ He asked, reaching out to brush his fingers against the tally marks on the wall.

She opened her eyes and looked up at him. ‘Those are how many days I’ve waited for you to come back to me.’

‘Oh.’ He swallowed.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………..

‘I want to leave.’ Finn said as they laid in the grass that evening. He had one arm tucked behind his head and the other wrapped around Rey. She frowned and sat up on her elbow to look down at him.

‘Finn, I thought we moved past this-,’

‘I don’t mean I want to go back to the First Order,’ Finn replied. His condition had been improving over the last few weeks, and it seemed that whatever wall his reconditioning created had been weakening as well. He was still wary of Rey and the resistance—that was evident by the way he was still hesitant around them.

‘Then what do you mean?’

‘I just want to live somewhere…peaceful. Away from the First Order, the resistance and war, you know? A place where nobody can mess with my head anymore...’ He sighed. ‘I must sound ridiculous.’

‘You don’t sound ridiculous.’ She said. ‘I want that too. Sometimes I think it was just easier being a scavenger on Jakku.’

He sits up. ‘Why don’t we go then?’

‘Leave?’ She balked. ‘Now?’

‘Yes, what’s stopping us?’

‘Finn, we can’t just… _I_ can’t just…’ There was no way she could leave right now. Luke was still training her, she knew she would someday have to face Kylo Ren again and the First Order were still so strong. They would attack eventually and when they did, Rey wished to have the support of the resistance behind her. Finn, bit his bottom lip and nodded reluctantly. ‘Someday we will. We’ll go and start again somewhere where nobody knows us and we’ll just be happy. I promise. It just can’t be now, okay?’

‘Okay.’

She leaned down and kissed him. ‘I promise.’

……………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Sweat formed at her temples, and there was a faint taste of blood in her mouth as she bit down hard on her bottom lip. One hand clutched Finn’s hair and the other gripped her bed sheets as Finn’s fingers curled inside of her and his tongue swirled around her clit. Her hips jerked as he brushed against a particular spot inside of her.

‘Finn,’ She gasped. He sucked her clit between his lips and flicked at it with his tongue, causing her back to arch off the bed as she was pushed into her release. Rey trembled as Finn kissed up her body and captured her lips in a kiss.

When he thrusts his hips against her, she realized that he was still half dressed and broke the kiss, panting. ‘Take them off.’ She ordered.

‘Are you sure?’ He asked, though the look on his face and the feel of his clothed erection between her legs told her he was more than ready for anything that would happen next. She sat up and pushed him so that he was kneeling before her. Rey reached for the button of his pants, making quick work of it and pushing his pants and underwear down his thighs. She took his impossibly hard cock in her hand and gave it a few experimental strokes. Rey looked up to gauge his reaction and grinned proudly when she saw his face contorted in pleasure.

She leaned forward and pressed wet, hot kisses to the scars of his chest before trailing upward to his neck. ‘I want to feel you inside of me.’

Rey laid back, pulling Finn back between her legs in the process. He paused, looking uncertain as to whether or not he should continue. ‘It’s okay,’ Rey said. ‘I need you, Finn.’

Her breath hitched as he pushed inside her, her body desperately trying to accommodate his cock and the sensation of being stretched. His hips stilled when he was buried completely, and she could feel his ragged breathing against her neck.

‘Can I…?’ Finn gasped after a few moments of stillness.

‘Yes.’ She nodded, and wrapped her legs tight around his waist.

The dull ache soon disappeared as he moved in and out of her, and was replaced by ripples of pleasure that had her whimpering against the shell of his ear. ‘You feel…F-Finn you feel so good.’

His hands clenched the pillow behind her head as his thrusting became erratic, his climax quickly approaching. ‘ _Rey_.’ He groaned. ‘I’m gonna...,’ He slowed his movements as he tried to pull out of her but Rey’s legs kept him hooked in place.

‘I know.’ Was all she said before thrusting her hips back against him. He picked up his pace again quickly and within moments came spilling inside of her with a deep groan that resonated from his chest.

Rey’s hand rubbed soothing circles over his back, and let her fingers run gently over the scar left on his back from Starkiller.

Her eyes grew heavy and just as she was about to drift off, she heard Finn’s voice mumble against her shoulder. ‘I love you.’

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Close to a year later, she faced off against Kylo Ren once again. Things were more difficult this time around. She was stronger and better trained, but he had become far more dangerous now that he had completely given himself over to the Dark Side. But in the end, it was Rey standing over him—bruised and bleeding but still standing, with her lightsaber dangerously close to his throat as he glared up at her, hatred filling his eyes.

His death was quick. It wasn’t something she relished in and when it was over she even felt a little sick—having never killed before. But she thought of Finn and what the First Order and Kylo Ren had done to him and how she’d almost lost him. Those remorseful thoughts quickly disappeared.

‘I had to do it.’ She said to Luke that evening she returned back to the base. ‘I had no choice.’

‘I know.’ He nodded, having just come from speaking with his sister. General Organa was upset of course, at one point that monster of a man was her son and even though she knew he had to be stopped, it didn’t hurt her any less.

‘Finn and I are leaving tomorrow.’ She announced. Luke looked at her, but there was no evidence of surprise on his face. ‘Kylo Ren is gone. And I know that doesn’t necessarily mean that we’ve won but-,’

‘I understand.’ He nodded.

‘When the resistance truly needs me, I’ll be there. You have my word.’ She said. Her hand came up to rest on her lower abdomen and she quickly glanced down at it, a small smile appearing on her face. ‘I just have other priorities I have to take care of first.’

There was a twinkle in Luke’s eye as a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. ‘Does Finn know?’

She shook her head. ‘He will.’

He came forward and rested a hand on her shoulder. ‘I’m proud to have called you my Padawan, Rey.’

‘Thank you.’

‘Keep in touch.’

‘Of course.’ She smiled.

He nodded. ‘And may the force be with you.’  

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

‘It’s alright,’ She said, handing the swaddled baby girl over to her father. ‘Hold her.’

He hesitated, his hands shaking slightly as he slowly reached out and took her into his arms. She was only a little over a day old. Finn had yet to hold her, he had fears about handling something so delicate.

‘I just don’t want to hurt her.’

‘You won’t.’ She said, her heart swelling at the sight.

He rocked her slowly, whispering things to her as her eyes fluttered shut. Finn looked up at Rey. ‘Did I ever thank you?’

‘For what?’

‘For not giving up on me…for bringing me back.’ He said.

She smiled. ‘You’ll never need to.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sincerest apologies for the wait as well as any glaring mistakes there may be. It's two in the morning where I am and I'm struggling to stay awake. I will fix them asap! Also, I'm not terribly happy with the way the ending turned out but c'est la vie! Any feedback is deeply appreciated and thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Any and all mistakes are mine! Sorry it's like 1 am and I might have missed some things.


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